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Monday, March 20, 2017

My Panty Fetish

OK, I've been outed :-).  Cindy spilled the beans about my panty and chastity fetishes.  I don't blame her for doing so.  I've been putting off talking about them, since they seem a bit unmanly.  However, I can't deny how important they are in our relationship.  I also have to admit that they are each important in my own fantasy life.  I'd like to first talk about my panty fetish.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated with the sight and feel of women's panties, as well as almost any form of lingerie.  I also love the old-fashioned girdles, garter belts, and stockings.  As a teenager I would sneak into my sister's room when she was away and try on her panties.  I can't explain why this is so exciting for me, but I have learned to accept that it is.  My fascination with the old-fashioned lingerie is very strong with respect to seeing women wear them. I'll add that to my list of post topics.

When Cindy discovered my electronic folder of lingerie photos, we spent a long time talking about them and my fascination with them.  She had me try on some of her panties and saw the strong reaction I had to being in them.  She also seemed to like seeing me in them.

She also seemed to enjoy spanking me in them, especially when she spanks me erotically or administers a mild maintenance spanking.  I find that to be very erotic, as well.


I'm sure you can guess that it didn't take too long for her to decide that I should wear women's panties my normal underwear.  I have to confess that I did not put up any resistance.  However, I do keep a couple of pair of jockey shorts in my drawer for times when I need to feel safe, such as visiting my physician. I used to wear boxers, but after I switched to women's panties, Cindy wanted be to wear jockey shorts as the male alternative.  And, ones that she purchased for me are a very sexy sheer nylon.

So, I guess I have become a panty boy because I love wearing them.  I'm also thrilled that Cindy finds it to be very sexy and seems to love it as well.

I'm sure that you won't be surprised that she also quickly picked up on my electronic folder of photos of men wearing chastity devices.  That had recently become another fascination of mine.  I'll share a bit more about that in my next posting.

Larry

Monday, March 13, 2017

Cindy's Reflections - Spanking and Larry's Porn Collection

Larry's recent post about spanking caused me to realize that I should probably share my perspective on this topic.  Spanking is something that has become a mainstay in our relationship.  But it has taken me some time to adapt to it.  I love giving erotic spankings to Larry and I have even allowed him to give me an occasional one.  I will even confess that I enjoy it when he gently spanks me in between playing with my pussy!  From my response,  Larry is also very much aware of my positive response (it is hard to hide how wet I become when he does it).   I also enjoy providing him with a weekly maintenance spanking.  I continue to be amazed about how much he enjoys them, yet they seem to also remind him that he wants to avoid being punished.  I suspect that is because I always progress to a point where the pain level at the end of the maintenance spanking is much like a punishment spanking.

Giving Larry a true punishment spanking is another matter.  I don't enjoy spanking him to a level that creates serious pain, even though I have come to understand how important it is.  My mother's guidance has helped convince me of that and provided the determination I need to be able to do it.  I also see first hand evidence of their effectiveness after I administer one.  And, I am slowly becoming more comfortable and adept at administering a spanking that makes a lasting impression.  However, I'm also thankful that I haven't had to do it very often.  I think that is also evidence of their effectiveness, and not a sign of me avoiding them if they are needed.

Another significant aspect of our relationship is the kinkiness that we each embrace.   That turned out to be a surprise to both of us.  I feel like we really surprised each other.  Until Larry shared his interest in spanking with me, I had no idea about this aspect of him.  And, until I openly embraced this need, I had no idea how much I could enjoy the kinky aspects of our sexual life.  I also think that I completely surprised Larry with my willingness to accept and embrace his needs, as well as some of my own kinky ideas.

I believe that there were two major things that contributed to my being able to understand and accept Larry's kinkiness and to embrace my own.  The first was the way we developed a successful way to openly discuss how we each felt about each other's needs and desires.  The second was the fact that I discovered Larry's stash of porn on his computer after we were married.  I couldn't believe the amount of photos and videos he had stored on his hard drive, or the way he had them organized.  However, they became a new vehicle for us to discuss things and better understand each other.  We spent many evenings looking through his collection and talking about why he saved them.  This activity provided numerous entries in our activity log with our rating of how we feel about them (See After the Honeymoon).

Two things that really surprised me in Larry's porn stash were his fetish for women's panties and his fascination with chastity devices.  They were so strong that we have incorporated aspects of both them into our life.  I'm also surprised that Larry has not yet mentioned these two significant areas of interest on his part.  So, I'm going to force his hand a little by sharing them with you.  Hint:  Larry looks really sexy in panties and he seems to love wearing them.  I also love seeing him locked up.

Another area that Larry has not yet really addressed is the punishment spankings he has received.  The number of them has been relatively few, which is good.   However, the reasons for them were significant enough to cause me to overcome my discomfort in spanking him that hard.  I suspect that he will eventually share with you some of the reasons for them.  To me, the good news is that none of the individual reasons have been repeated.  That tells me that he learned something.

I'm sorry to have rambled so much.

Cindy

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Thoughts about Spanking

Spanking has always been a huge part of my fantasy life.   As a young boy playing with friends, I would try to invent games that included opportunities for someone to be spanked.  My fantasies include me being spanked, as well as administering a spanking to a female.  I don't know where all of this came from.  My parents never spanked me.  However, it is clear to me that I am 'wired' for spanking activities.

As I got older and aware of the pornography available on the internet I began to explore these fantasies through photographs and videos.  However, I never acted on them until I had the courage to share my thoughts with Cindy.  I was surprised and thrilled at her positive response.  As I have previously shared, I received my first experience of being spanked from Cindy and her mother (See Larry's First Spanking).  During the first six months of our marriage, I have shared with Cindy a lot about the ritualism of spanking that I find exciting and Cindy has continued to provide me with spankings.  They have consisted primarily of erotic and maintenance spankings.  However, I have also earned and received some punishment spankings.

Erotic Spanking
The erotic spankings have been frequent and wonderful.  Cindy always positions me in a way that she has access to privates for teasing while she spanks me at a very comfortable level.  These are given with her hand, usually somewhat prolonged sessions, and sometimes end with me squirting while I am over her lap.



Maintenance Spanking
The maintenance spankings are also enjoyable, although more severe.   She usually has me in a position that gives her the ability to sometimes also spank by penis, but not always.  She also usually utilizes a variety of implements.  While starting out slowly, they always progress to a level of significant discomfort on my part (which, for some reason, I love) and end with me having a very red and sore bottom.  These normally occur at least once a week.


Cindy has also found it necessary to administer a true Punishment Spanking to me on several occasions (this linked video provides a good example of the intensity of them).  These originally always began with Cindy lowering my underwear and spanking me on the bare.  However, she recently purchased what she calls "Punishment Panties" which I will be required to wear for any future punishment spankings.  These are actually a woman's girdle that has holes in the back which expose and lift the buttocks.  Cindy likes it because it exposes, lifts, and separates my cheeks while still covering my genitals.  She likes to emphasize that there will be no attention paid to my sexual organ during this type of spanking.

I really like the ritualism involved in spankings, such as Cindy lowering my underwear to expose me, carefully positioning me over her knee just the way she wants me, and scolding me as she methodically spanks me traditional implements, such as the hairbrush, leather slipper, stingy wooden paddle,  etc.


I love this little paddle on the right that Cindy purchased from eBay after we returned from our honeymoon.  She sometimes uses it lightly during erotic spankings and it is very pleasantly stingy.  However, used more vigorously during maintenance spankings it can also be quite effective..

Her mother also gave her two special items for Christmas that were purchased on eBay.  The first brush on the left is an antique ebony brush that is quite heavy and can pack a mean wallop, depending on how it is used.  Cindy likes to use it for maintenance spankings and at the start of a punishment spanking.  The second brush is a Vermont Country Store bath brush which is no longer available.  It is extremely effective for punishment spankings.  The longer handle provides a lot of leverage and its pain is much more penetrating than the ebony brush.  Cindy has only used it once on me and I hope I never feel it again!

As you can see, spanking plays a major role in my fantasy life and Cindy has found some wonderful ways to tap into it.  I love all of it, except for the punishment spankings.  Thankfully, Cindy is not as severe with them as her mother at this time.

Cindy has also spanked me in front of her girlfriends, but I'll leave that for another posting.

Larry

Thursday, March 9, 2017

After the Honeymoon

When we returned from our honeymoon last August, Cindy was determined to make sure we kept open communications going about what we each liked and disliked.   When she discovered that I have a large collection of porn on my computer, it provided her with another source of discussions about our fantasies and desires.  Over a period of several weeks we sat down together and talked about the photos and videos and why I liked them.  She also shared her reaction to them.  When we had exhausted those materials as a source of discussion, she suggested that we explore a number of Tumblr sites together, which we still continue to do.  I have started to provide links to a number of our favorite sites in the panel on the right side of this blog and I will continue to add links to it as time permits.

As we discussed our desires, Cindy decided to change the format of our lists desires and fantasies to better document how we each feel about our various fantasies as well as the things we have actually tried.  She combined everything into one list that does not specify who brought up the topic.  Also, it now specifies whether each item is still just a fantasy or if it is something we have actually tried.  Finally, it includes the rating from each one of us.  She kept the rating system the same:  0-10. with 10 being "That is very arousing", 5 is "I'm neutral about this", and 0 is "That's disgusting".  Below is a small example of the new chart with just a few sample items listed.


Activity
Fantasy /
Reality
Cindy’s
Rating
Larry’s
Rating
 Larry masturbates in front of Cindy
 Reality
 8
 7
 Larry consumes his cum
 Reality
 9
 4
Anal sex with Cindy
 Reality
 6
 10
 Spank Larry in front of Cindy's girlfriends
 Reality
 10
 7
 Administer a moderate punishment spanking to Cindy
 Fantasy
 2
 10
Figging Larry
 Fantasy
 6
 7

One of the things I dearly love about Cindy is her openness and willingness to talk about any of our fantasies and desires in a completely non-judgmental way.  Even if the topic is somewhat repulsive to her, she does not make a negative judgment concerning the fact that it arouses me.  She is also very willing to try new things, even those that she rates a 3 or 4.

I also love the way Cindy takes charge of things with respect to our desires and fantasies. I think it helps that she is a little older than me and has had more experience in sexual matters.  I'm also sure that being able to discuss some of the FLR and spanking issues with her mother has been very helpful to her.

When we returned home from the honeymoon Cindy resumed my weekly maintenance spankings.  I hadn't had one since a week before the wedding and had missed them (although Cindy did provide several erotic spankings during the honeymoon).  I firmly believe that our open discussions and the maintenance spankings contribute greatly to the success of our marriage and FLR.  In a future post I hope to share of my thoughts and feelings about being spanked.

Larry

Monday, March 6, 2017

Cindy's Reflections

It took Larry a while, but he has managed to convince me that it would good for me to occasionally write something for him to post in the blog.  Several comments requesting my input were also helpful in helping me make this decision.  Most important is Larry's willingness to serve as my editor.  He will make sure I write using complete sentences and that the meaning of what I am trying to share is clear.  Writing mostly informal emails and texts these days has degraded my writing skills :-).

I appreciate the care that Larry has taken to share how we got started and an understanding of each of us.  He has done a good job.  Yes, I am quite dominant, prone to liking detail, and an extrovert. I like to be in control of things.  And, yes, I enjoy being gregarious and prone to being a bit of an extrovert.  I like to shake things up sometimes and surprise people.  And he has very accurately shared that he is very much an introvert and definitely submissive.  However, he has not shared how talented he is with respect to listening to people and situations and negotiating solutions.  He is not a person who likes to talk about himself or his talents because he is too modest to do so.  So, perhaps that needs to be part of my role when I submit something for him to post.

I like the way that Larry has shared how we handle our female led relationship and that he has emphasized the way we communicate with each other.  While I make the decisions, I also feel it is very important for Larry to have input and be part of the process.  We are blessed to have a relationship that is grounded in love and respect.  It is also based on each of us having the desire to provide sexual pleasure to each other.  I am saddened when I read about an FLR in which the wife's goal seems to be to keep her husband deprived of sexual pleasure.  I feel that we each need that pleasure and for us, receiving pleasure makes each of us want to give pleasure.

I would like to address a comment to The Honeymoon (Part 1) concerning whether I had purchased a speedo bathing suit for Larry to wear on our honeymoon in order to humiliate him.  I was very happy to see how Larry responded because that thought never entered my head.  I was trying to purchase something new and sexy for him to wear.  I guess I also wanted him be a bit more extroverted like me.   My mistake was not taking into account Larry's sensitivity to displaying his package that way.  However, as our honeymoon went on, Larry got much more comfortable wearing the speedo.  It just took some convincing from me that he has nothing to be concerned about with respect to the size of his member.


With respect to size,  I've been sexually active for over 12 years - so I've had experience with quite a few 'willies'.  They have included a few 'button' penises and a couple of monsters (one was so big it frightened me to allow penetration).  However, most were all about the same size as Larry's and most of the men did not know how to use them to provide a pleasurable experience as well as Larry does.  I love the way he looks in the speedo and I'm very happy that he now feels good wearing it..

Another comment suggested that Larry post a frontal photo of his penis.  Larry and I talked about that and initially decided that we weren't going to post a photo.  However, after talking about it more last night, I convinced Larry that I wanted to proudly post a photograph of his wonderful love tool.  In this case I would not post it if he objected.  However,  he has now come to realize that his penis is like most other men's with respect to size and that the huge ones that he sees in porn are not that typical.  So, here is a full frontal photo that I took of the penis I love.  He is not aroused in this shot and he experiences a more significant increase in length and girth when erect compared to most of the 'willies' I have experienced.  I just love his penis and ball sack.  His sack normally hangs down more than when I took this photo.  I suspect he was uncomfortable with my picture taking :-).

You have probably gathered from Larry's posts that we each also have a strong kinky streak in us.  I really enjoy that aspect of our relationship.  I think we were each surprised when we began seriously discussing our desires and fantasies how flexible we each are with respect to trying new things and finding new ways to please each other.

Since several of you have asked me to participate in this blog, please let me know your thoughts about this post and if there are specific topics that you would like me to address.

Cindy

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Relationship Agreement

Shortly after we returned home from our honeymoon, after reading about them on the web, Cindy decided that we should create a written agreement concerning our FLR.  She did a lot of research and utilized a template from AboutFLR.com.  It provided the opportunity for extensive discussion about our relationship and we settled on the following agreement.  It has also provided us with a vehicle for continued discussion.  We continue to revise it, most recently as of January 1.

Larry



Relationship Agreement

Preamble
     Title: Relationship Agreement. This agreement is about how we want to proceed as a couple. We, Cynthia and Larry, enter into this agreement on September 1, 2016 together. We want this agreement to be the guiding principles for our relationship and reflect our design for the ideal relationship we are working for. This agreement is for a period  of one year.

Ideals
     We affirm that our ideal relationship includes being monogamous with each other, sharing mutual love and respect for each other, actively communicating our sexual desires, fantasies and needs with each other, and the use of spanking when it is appropriate.  It does not include any polygamous activities or any forms of personal humiliation or degradation.

Affirmation of our Faith in our Relationship
     We affirm our marriage vows and our desire to maintain a life-long commitment to each other.

Agreement to Review this Document
      We agree to meet as a couple at least once a quarter to read and make adjustments to this agreement. We further agree that at points of stress either of us may call for a meeting to read and make adjustments. Further, after making changes we agree to verbally affirm our agreement.

Declaration of Female Leadership
     We declare and affirm our belief that a female led relationship is right for us. As such we have agreed that the role of the woman in our relationship is leader and ultimate decision maker and the role of the man is contributor and supporter.

Handling Conflict and Change
     We agree that, should conflict arise, we will first attempt to work it out by conversing together. If needed, we will create a formal document where the conflict is documented and the remediation is written. Should that fail, we are committed to enter into mediation with a mutually agreeable third party.   Both of us commit to learning from our conflict by making changes to this agreement and our communication in an attempt for less conflict in the future.

Handling Non-performance
     In the event of non performance, we agree to remediation (a solution to the problem most often characterized by a penalty, corrective action, or punishment).  Remediation will include the reading of this agreement where the non performance has occurred, the agreement by both parties that non performance has occurred, and the submission of either or both parties to the consequence of non-performance. Further this document may be reviewed and amended upon non performance after the consequence/remediation administered, if called for by the non offending party to call out the non-performance in more detail. Failure to accept complete remediation will make this agreement null and void.
     Non-performance remediation for Larry will be decided upon by Cynthia.   The remedy will be administered no less than two days after non-performance has been called and documented.
     Non-performance remediation for Cynthia will be proposed by Larry.  If Cynthia does not agree with the proposed remediation, Cynthia’s mother, who is part of a successful female led relationship with Cynthia’s father, will serve as mediator.  Her decision will be final.   The remedy will be administered no less than 2 days after non performance has been called, documented, and agreed upon.

Use of Spanking as Discipline
     We agree that there will be times when each of us will do something that is very disappointing or offensive to the other.  If Larry is the offending party, Cynthia will administer an appropriate spanking to him in a loving and caring manner.  The spanking will be administered  on his bare buttocks using any implement that she feels is appropriate for the offense.  If the offending party is Cynthia, Larry may propose that she receive a spanking from him.  Cynthia has veto power over any spanking proposed by Larry.  If Cynthia exercises her veto power, Larry may appeal to Cynthia’s mother, whose decision will be final.  Spankings administered by Larry will be administered over Cynthia’s panties or on her bare buttocks with his hand only.

Maintaining and Growing our Relationship
     We agree we want to keep our relationship vital by fostering active communications about each other’s needs and how this agreement is working to meet them.  We promise to be open and honest with each other and to listen to each other.    We agree that we expect this relationship to change as it matures and we each pledge to being open to change and growth.

Formal Rules, Rituals and Traditions
     We agree that it is important to have some formal rules, rituals, and traditions to serve as a constant reminder of this agreement and our commitment to a female led relationship.  All items in this category will be agreed upon by each party before being documented in this agreement.  We anticipate that these items may change as our relationship matures. 
Items currently agreed upon are:
·         Larry will keep his genitalia and buttocks shaved smooth at all times (shaving at least once per week) as a visual sign of his commitment to Cynthia’s leadership;
·         Cynthia will keep her genitalia shaved smooth or neatly trimmed as a visual sign of her commitment to provide the best leadership possible to this relationship;
·         Larry and Cynthia each agree that masturbation in the absence of each other is a destructive force to a sexual relationship.  Each agree to resist the urge to masturbate if the other party is not present and aware that masturbation is taking place;
·         Larry and Cynthia each agree to not delete browsing history on their computers unless the other party has had chance to review it prior to deletion.


                                                                                               Revised as of January 1, 2017

Monday, February 27, 2017

Honeymoon (Part 3)

Our meal time discussions provided Cindy and me with many ideas that we knew would be acceptable to explore with each other.  Cindy's Toy Box also provided us with lots of toys to utilize.  Part way through the week I was permitted to see what the box contained.  I was completely amazed of the collection that her girl friends put together for her.  I was also pleased that not all of them were selected just for Cindy's pleasure.  During the course of our honeymoon we put most of them to good use.

One significant item that we each enjoyed was a restraint system that attached to our mattress.  We both got to experience the pleasures of being restrained and subjected to the whims and desires of the other.  I was the first to experience it.  After securing me to the bed,  Cindy whispered into my ear that I shouldn't be afraid. She quickly added that I was in for a very long night of pleasure that would be provided by her.  She also added that I would also be expected to make sure she is appropriately pleasured.

She began by facing and straddling my face and allowing me to orally pleasure her.  She was clearly excited before I began, because it didn't take me long to bring her to her first orgasm that night (She would later experience a second one by riding me cow girl style). In between those two orgasms, Cindy focused on my pleasure.  She began by asking me if I was familiar with the term "Tease and Denial".  I admitted to her that I was very familiar with the term. She then asked me if I had ever experienced it.  When I shared that I had not, she shared with me that I was in for an interesting experience. Looking back on this night, it is probably when I first realized how much more experienced Cindy was than me in the sexual world.  I also later learned how much she had learned from conversations with her girl friends.  Again, looking back, I now know how naive I was.

Using a variety of toys from the Toy Box, as well as a pair of her panties and a nylon stocking, she teased me to a very high level of arousal numerous times.  Each time she backed off before I had an orgasm.  After what seemed like an eternity, she finally took me over the edge and then continued to tease my cock for a time when I was extremely sensitive. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.  She finally stopped and gave me some time to recover.  She then decided that she wanted to see if I could perform again.  She straddled my face again, but this time with her head facing my crotch.  As I performed oral on her, she brought me back to life, and then sat on my cock cow girl style and went to work.  Since I had already had one orgasm, it took her a while to produce a second one from me, having one herself along the way.  After she climbed off, I was completely spent and limp, not just my cock, but my entire body.  She again gave me some time to recover while we talked about what we had just experienced.  She eventually went to the Toy Box and retrieved an Hitachi vibrator, and informed me that she wanted to see if you could coax another one out of me.  I never thought I would not want her to stimulate me, but that was how I felt at that time.  My pleas fell on deaf ears however, and she eventually managed to extract a final small load of cum from a semi-hard cock that was ready to be done.

After releasing me from my bondage and taking the restraint system off the bed, we fell asleep in each other's arms and slept soundly that night.

The next night, Cindy experienced her turn in the restraint system.  We started with me straddling her face with my head in a position to also provide her with oral.  During our mutual oral pleasuring, Cindy also surprised me at one point by taking my balls into her mouth instead of my cock.  OMG what a feeling.  After we each orgasmed, Cindy received somewhat of the same  prolonged stimulation experience I had the previous night, but not for as long.  It provided me with a wonderful opportunity to learn what types of toys and stimulation from me excited her the most.  We again ended with a second orgasm for each of us before calling it a night.

By the end of the honeymoon, we had explored most of the toys in Cindy's Toy Box,but not all.  Cindy had also introduced me to her knowledge of sexual positions and techniques.  I don't want to continue to dwell on what we did, since I think I have shared enough to provide a sense of how our marriage started off.  We established excellent communications with respect to our sexual desires and fantasies and had time to explore a good number of them.  When we returned home to begin a normal married life, we had an excellent base from which to work and to explore other areas of our developing female led relationship.

My next post will pick up at that point and attempt to share how we began to further develop this thing called FLR, as well as continue to explore our sexual desires and needs.

Larry